A knife in the john? That sounds kind of dangerous. But as one Reddit poster revealed there is a very practical reason to take a bladed object into the bathroom. Read on to find out exactly why you might need this implement when answering the call of nature. But perhaps leave the explanation until a bit later if you happen to be eating right now.
The Reddit poster, going by the improbably appropriate name of LearnedButt, revealed the truth behind knives and bathrooms. To do so, he went back in time to his family home when he was a kid. The home sounds perfectly normal in every respect but for one thing. This was a household that featured something they all called a “poop knife.”
“My family poops big,” LearnedButt revealed. “Maybe it’s genetic, maybe it’s our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won’t flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you.”
So what did LearnedButt’s family members do if they had produced one of those “mega-poops” as he so delicately describes them? After all, common courtesy meant that it couldn’t just be left languishing in the toilet bowl. Well that’s where the poop knife came in. The utensil, more commonly seen in the kitchen rather than the restroom in most homes, was used to slice the log into flushable fragments.
And some of the reactions to LearnedButt’s post were priceless. Huntingbears244 wrote, “OMG, my grandparents had one of these and they called it the “mashitty”! I thought they were the only ones!” MrsWhirly revealed that, “My family uses a spatula, affectionately referred to as ‘The Shatula.’” So, if you habitually slice up your turds, it turns out you’re not alone.