Older generations often talk about how things were better in their day without appreciating that some things are simply better now. Take food, for example – today, convenience can mean a tasty takeaway or a quick meal from a microwave. In the 1950s, however, it meant canned or solidified in Jell-O. Sometimes both and sometimes involving questionable combinations. All the following items actually existed, and they might just make you gag.
For those not familiar with Spam, this tinned meat is processed pork blended with processed ham. And if that isn’t enough to turn your stomach, consumers were encouraged to do ghastly things with it. For example, mash it with milk, ketchup, mustard and rolled oats before placing it into peach halves to create the horrendous Fiesta Spam Peach Cups. Yum yum.
In the 1950s, someone somewhere – for some reason – decided “IT’S FROM CANS” was the big selling point for Meal-In-A-Mold. Which kind of makes sense because everything else about it is even less appealing. It’s basically lunch meat, chicken, carrots and peas, congealed in Jell-O. We’ll assume it tastes better than it looks, but we really don’t want to be the ones to find out.
Salads can get boring when you’re on a diet. So, in an effort to make them more fun, someone invented the Chilled Celery Log, in which a chopped, spiced vegetable mousse is encased in celery stalks. This actually appeared on a Weight Watchers Recipe Card. Effective, presumably, because no one would ever want to eat it.
Here’s one to file under “WTAF?!” Behold the culinary abomination that is the Liver Sausage Pineapple, a grim concoction of liverwurst and mayo, seasoned with lemon juice and Worcestershire sauce. And if your stomach isn’t already doing somersaults, wrap the “meat” in pineapple icing after molding it to resemble the tropical fruit, then garnish with green olives. Less cordon bleu, more cordon bleurgh.